Communication with a married man. Relationship with a married man - Tips of a psychologist

Relations with a married man are not approved by default, but, nevertheless, it happens quite often. A completely young girls can get into such a situation, and adult experienced women. Some of them, in turn, also turn out to be married. You can go for such a step quite consciously, but someone learns about the status of the beloved too late.

Love. With this, everything is clear - as they say, you will not order the heart. The most painful of all situations, because even with mutual feelings, nothing else can be changed. The man already has a family, and the chances that he will throw it, very illusory.
"Last chance". Sometimes girls who have no personal life for a long time begin to feel uncomfortable among married girlfriends. But how to correct the situation, if there are no idle men among familiar, where you could pay attention to? Some resort to cardinal measures - try to lead married.
Need a male sponsor. As a rule, women go to such a step consciously. If the chosen is able to satisfy their financial inquiries, they feel quite comfortable in the role of mistresses. But psychologists are not wanted about the hidden hazards of such relations: the calculation can grow into attachment, and this moment is difficult to track down.
Communication for the career. Calculate careerists can provide themselves to quickly promotion. The influential lover for them is just a tool to achieve the goal, not the object of sincere feelings.
Lack of love and mutual understanding in the family. Married women who are not satisfied with the relationship with his spouse, find everything they need, on the side. A married lover in this case is much more preferable. He is also interested in preserving relations in secret, you can not be afraid of health.

However, whatever circumstances that connected lovers, psychologists warn about the danger of such a connection. Even if a woman from the very beginning, a married man was needed, the situation has at least two possible troubles. First, a wife can guess about everything. Secondly, close relationships form attachment, and women are more prone to its appearance.

Remember: get rid of feelings for man much more difficult than from the person himself! Is it worth risking your time and peaceful peace of mind for the sake of relationships that are unlikely to grow into something really serious?

Is everything bad?

Psychologists describe cases when such a relationship went to women for the benefit. They became more confident in themselves in their attractiveness and charm. Thanks to this, they managed after some time to meet a free man and arrange their personal life. However, such situations are identified and rather an exception to the rules. And the rule is that the man almost never leaves the family.

With his wife, he is associated with long relationship, children, property, common friends and familiar life lifestyle. The chances that he will throw everything for the sake of mistress, very small. Hopefully makes sense only when the marriage is already at the final stage of existence.

A man can tell anything: how it is not easy for him in the family, as far as he values \u200b\u200brelations with his mistress, but the situation of these words does not change. Weekends and holidays he will spend from his family, he also goes on vacation too with her, and even it is impossible to call in the evenings, because at this time he is at home, teaches her lessons with the child.

Well, if a woman suits everything: she has its own active life, meetings with friends, work, visiting interesting events. But the existence of those who need a beloved person to turn into infinite torment, sometimes reaching the nervous breakdown.

Tips for those who consciously choose relations with a married man

The ladies agreeing on the relationship on the calculation are actually a destructive mechanism of slow motion.

Whatever benefits have been suslayed, they are fascinated before possible consequences. For example, if a wife knows about everything, a man, striving to save the family, can not only break the relationship, but also to blame the mistress.

It is unlikely that someone wants to be in the role of a negative heroine in the center of such a scandal, so the advice here is only one - avoid such a relationship. But if the temptation is great and not to resist him, then you need to observe a number of conditions:

do not allow a financial dependence on a man. Even if it is needed as a sponsor, there must always be other sources of income;
actively communicate with friends and other men. Create a family with a loved one is much more pleasant than being someone's mistress;
control your emotions not to fall in love. If notes of jealousy will begin to appear, when he talks about his wife, the desire to call and ask how the day passed, impatience in anticipation of the meeting - it means it's time to part, while it is still possible to make painlessly;
keep everything in secret, even from the closest girlfriends.

Is it possible to keep a married man

Those who still fell into the trap of feelings, even if they were originally not planned, turn out to be a difficult choice: to go, entered honestly towards him and his family, or to continue the relationship, hoping that everything would change.

It is often possible to hear the view that you need to fight for happiness: if people really love each other, then marriage should not be a hindrance. That's just the apparent mutual love so many nuances that sometimes it is difficult to decide whether it is worth fighting for her. It will help to understand the observation of the behavior of a man:

if he is constantly complaining of his wife, tells what it is bad and that he wants to leave it - this, most likely, should not be expected. Lover needs such a man as a "vest", the ability to spill the negative. It is worth only to ask when he plans a divorce, as he will immediately find an excuse and change the topic.
if a man honestly confesses that he loves his wife, but he also feeds feelings to his mistress, it means that you should not wait for miracles. Of the two equally loved women, if necessary, he will choose the one with which it is associated more different circumstances.
sometimes it happens that the lover with his wife has not connected anything for a long time. No children, everyone lives his life and does not need each other. In this case, the mistress has a chance, but not to put pressure on a man. The decision on the divorce, he must take himself.

How to break the relationship with a married man

If a man is not in a hurry, but he does not want to part with his mistress, she will have to correct everything. In the end, it is she who loses time on a person who will not be able to give it the desired.

Remember, painless parting does not happen! But tighten with the gap - it means to do it even more with a holy.

To begin with, psychologists advise to clarify their expectations from relationships. To do this, a woman needs to write everything on a sheet of paper everything that she would like to receive from a man, be it from her point of view. No need to list, to which she is ready to go for the sake of the lover, it is necessary to completely distract from his image and think exclusively about his desires. Surely there will be a family, children, support and mutual understanding, common friends, family holidays, walking around the city at the weekend. The more details such a list, the better. And it is necessary to do in writing - it will help to see the situation from the side.
Now is the time to become an egoist, put yourself in the center of your world and take a look at the existing relationship from the point of view of a woman who just listed what she would like from the chosen one. Which made up of a list can give a lover? Most likely, very little, because everything goes to his wife. Perhaps, at this stage, looking at himself, a woman wants to give themselves some advice herself, she has important thoughts. They should also be written.
Now that everything decomposed on the shelves, you need to inform a man about parting. If he is still a good man and understands that he will not be able to give the mistress of what she wants and deserves, it will understand and let go. With the so-called man-manipulators, they do not want to lose their sacrifice and try to remind her about themselves by any ways. To resist the temptation of "Last time" to meet very difficult, but it will have to stand it. This can help motivating records made earlier.
The next step is to clean the space around him from its presence. Delete letters and messages, erase the phone number, remove joint photos, gifts, favorite books - everything that can remind this person.
Change something in yourself. Any changes are able to distract from sad thoughts. For example, new hairstyle, style in clothes, bright makeup. You can sign up for painting courses, yoga, extreme driving. It will not only fill life with impressions, but will lead to new acquaintances.
Fill the emptiness. To do this, it is necessary to meet friends more often, go to different events, to do charity or sports.

Communication with a married thing is most often ends with parting. Even if he leaves the family, the responsibility for it will fall a grave burden on both former lovers. Happy couples formed in this way, very little, so the game is not worth the candle. Consequently, the best advice in such matters will not start relationships at all. There are many decent idle men with whom you can create a family and enjoy a happy life without secrets and deception.

In this article, I will verify inside out the relationship with a married man - the tips of the psychologist will help you fold the full picture of what happens between him and you really. And after you get step-by-step instructions to how to part with a married man, if you, of course, you want.

I have already watched a picture more than once: the girl turns relations with a man of older, in love with him in love with him in the blink, and then having learned the terrible truth, looking for support from girlfriends, but time is going, and she continues to fulfill the role of mistress in relationships. And the longer she will do it, the harder it will come out of this role.

Therefore, I hope that you have discovered this article is not just like that, and after reading it takes real actions to exit the role of mistress. There are many options for the distribution of roles in the triangle wife-husband lover, in this article we will look at one of the most popular options. You can immediately move from the content to step-by-step actions from the relationship with a married man. But in order to make it guaranteed and never else on these rakes - find out to start, why did you find yourself in this relationship. To solve the problem, you need to know her roots. So, the relationship with a married man tips of the psychologist.

Why does a man starts his mistress

The time of primitive people has long been riveted in the summer. Hunting, gathering and life in the caves remained behind. Now we move through the air, we communicate in thousands of kilometers and the conception of children in test tubes. Being monogamous creatures, we have created a family institution to ensure the security of our children. But primitive instincts remained at the helm. They still manage us, not giving evolution to take the top.

One of the basic primitive instincts is instinct of competitiveness. It is expressed in the thirst for superiority over others and to a greater extent prevails in men. This desire to be first, asserted, become the winner. How do men assert themselves to each other? Differently. For instinct competitiveness, it does not matter what exactly you are the first. The main thing to win before others, and this will be enough to satisfy your basic needs.
The more expensive your car, the higher the position, the more yachts you have, these are the cooler of others. Everyone has different values, and therefore this list is infinite. But the similarities of all points in one - they make a winner of you in the unklassous competition among men. One of the main points in this list for a man is his woman. Much can be said about a man on a woman next to him. A woman is the main indicator of the status of a man. The more charismatic, beautiful, well-keeped, is confident, it is interesting - the better the man standing next to her, in the eyes of society. And if he has two or more such women - it automatically falls into the highest league.

Unfortunately, in Western countries, such men's behavior in society is not relied and is considered permissible. Thus, one of the reasons why the man puts his mistress is the desire to assert the love relationship in the market. The presence of two women in a man says that he is a good lover, I am interested with him and he is most likely self-sufficient and secured. He feels power in his hands. There are still a lot of reasons, in addition to the desire to assert the man can make a mistress. They can be combined with one sentence: the reluctance to solve problems that have arisen inside the marriage, and instead of finding a solution on the side.

Rules of the game in which you lost in advance

In the triangle wife-husband lover goes a real survival game. In the winning position there is a man. It draws energy from two women, and thus his chances of achieving material success are doubled, and social prestige and success in women grow in their eyes. He knows that his shirts will be plunging at home and prepare dinner, and a beauty awaits him, always ready to satisfy his sexual needs.

Both women are in a certain competition, the struggle for him, which is particularly increasing his self-confidence and gives him a sense of self-sufficient superiority. The second place in this game is the wife. First, a man never leaves there, where he is good. And I ask you to notice, many wives quietly relate to the fact that their husbands are filled with mistresses. They know that the husband does not go anywhere, and in the case of which it will be what to reproach. Many wives admit that their sexual life with her husband again broke out hot fire after her husband started his mistress. In addition, the wife always remains dominant, the main woman in the life of a man. He lives with her, does not hide her from anyone, the main time is held with it. In the end, he is married on it.
And only the mistress always loses in this battle. The mistress could potentially become a girl whose needs never satisfied in childhood. This is a girl living in the role of the victim. So, the mistress is in a senseless position. First time (for someone it is a few months, and for someone and ten years old), the girl is in mindless waiting that he will never happen. She believes and hopes that a man will throw his family for her. Often, these illusions are building independently, despite the fact that the man has never even said to her that he wants to leave his wife.

She rifts his cloth of illusions from some fragments of phrases, shortcoming. Reads thoughts that are not. Here goes for several years, and she already puts up with the fact that all holidays conducts one, and the man is bought off or flowers, or altogether only SMIS. But in her soul it will still be hoped that someday they will be together. After some time, she turns into an accidental slave of his interests. Where they will meet when it can be phoned when they see again - he decides.

Over time, the mistress will understand that he played the game in which the failure was waiting for her in advance. But the main thing - if only it was not too late. If a man speaks with you only hints and does not promise anything, then you fell into the game in which they lost in advance. In the event that the man promised, fed with breakfasts, but did not go to you from his wife in the first year of relationship, then be sure he will never leave her.

Why he will never leave the family - 3 reasons

Replies to this question - a great set. Consider three main reasons forcing the man to stay in the family:

Cause # 1: Habit

He got used to live as he lives. I got used to my wife, to their efforts. They have common children, common friends and acquaintances, a favorite dog. Their duties and zones of responsibility are distributed, and at least they are already comfortable to live. Just to take and abandon the already arranged life - doubtful undertaking.

Cause # 2: Fear of unknown

He does not leave the usual life from the fear of unknown. His life is already arranged, and if he wants to change everything, there is a risk to remain with anything. How will children, friends, parents treat his decision? What if everything turned away from him? In addition, he does not fully know, it would have happened with him or not. After all, he never lived with you, did not share life. You can be an excellent mistress, but who said you will be a good wife? And where did you get that he would be a good husband to you? After all, you at least already know that he is inclined to treason and knows how to lie.

Cause # 3: You yourself allowed to happen

Why do a man change something if you are already with him? If you initially put it an ultimatum "Choose - I am or your wife," then, of course, he would have to choose. But you yourself agreed to fulfill the role of mistress, thereby recognizing their defeat and having resigned with him. Of course, you may argue: "But there are cases when husbands leave the family and go to mistresses!" Yes, it happens. But extremely rare.

It is not worth the illusion that your case is exceptional. Tell me, if a hundred people jump from the roof of a skyscraper, and one of them will survive in a happy chance, will you think that jumping safely?

How to part with a married man - Step-by-step instructions

So your favorite man is married - what to do? Now that you know about the relationship with a married thing so much, I suggest you to tie with them. And if you are not ready yet, I will share with you a secret: you will never be prepared for this. You will endure until the last, while your cup of patience does not overflow and does not burst. But it is likely that at that moment you will be already 40 or 45, and about your life, except for thoughtless waiting, you can not remember anything. So solve right now. Otherwise, you will close an article and live in these torments many more years. So, how to part with a married man tips of the psychologist:

Step # 1: Arrange priorities

Arrange priorities in your life. Do you want to have a family? Children? Build relations moving into strong and long-term? So do not waste your life on a person who has all this already arranged, and tell him about it. Make it gently, thin and gently. Hint that you have different goals. You want a family coziness and warmth. If you confidently bring this idea to your lover and you will stand on your own, then he will hear and understand you. Show him its determination in this direction.

Step # 2: ignore

After talking about priorities, stop responding to calls and messages, and if you meet, hold on calmly and, if possible, go past. Remove your messages without reading, and it will stop writing. Do it all without issuing emotions. No need to change the number or add it to the blacklist. All these actions will say that he means something for you. And this, in turn, will spit it into further attempts to contact you.

If you answer him angry "Don't call me! Loose! I do not like you anymore! ", Such a reaction will be perceived by a man as a game and a signal to continue the relationship. Be externally calm and ignore any attempts to continue communication. Do not provoke memories. Do not go to his page, do not revise photos and videos, do not reread messages. The fewer things will remind you of it, the sooner you will survive and forget.

If you need help, you can sign up for a consultation on Skype. I am a psychologist, and relationships are the main profile of my work.

Step # 3: Exit the role of the victim

If you are in a married man's relationship, then most likely you are in the role of the victim. The victim is characterized by the fact that it cannot do what she wants, she has been tolerate for a long time, instead of getting the circumstances under him. She tends to wear pink glasses and believe that everything goes by itself someday will be resolved.

The victim allows the circumstances to manage it, and she herself can not change anything, because "the family does not approve, age is not that, I will not find a job better, I will laugh at me, he will throw me." Especially for those who are in the role of the sacrifice, I shot - this is a video duration of 1 hour, consisting of practical tasks and exercises by completing which you will stop allowing people and circumstances to manage you, learn how to defend yourself, to speak out loud that you Does not suit, and become an independent person. You will be able to control the situation with your man and allow this conflict to your favor.

The cost of the video course is 1800 rubles. By purchasing a video course, you get a bonus: I will personally accompany you, answer your questions while you go through the course. This condition is limited in time.

To purchase a course, email me to any social. Network or "I want a course." You can also ask any questions in the social network or in form. Reviews about me and my work you can read or leave.

Delive to this step seriously, it depends on this, whether you will come to these rakes again or finally build mature, healthy and harmonious relationships in which the partner will listen to your desires and satisfy them.

On one cup of the scales lies fear - the freedom always lies on the other!

Step # 4: Spindle Negative

Do not copy emotions. If they do not come out now, then it will seem to you that experiences from the rupture have already ended, and then, after six months, the emotions are flooded, as if you broke up yesterday. Get out sports and free creativity. Start running or sign up for dancing. Draw, sculpt, create! Free your emotions through physical exertion or transfer them to canvas. If you want to cry - cry. Together with the emotions of you there are thoughts, feelings, desires associated with the former man.

Step # 5: Let the resentment

For a full exit of these painful, toxic relationships, I strongly recommend you another article about. She will help you not only to get out of relationships finally, but also teach in the future to create only healthy partnerships in which all your needs will be satisfied. And then you will definitely forgive your former and let him go all the insults. If you already know how to do it - great! And if not - do it. It guaranteed you from stress and leave you only warm memories of a relationship with a married man.

Conclusion

So, we figured out that the relationship with a married man actually represents - the tips of the psychologist, I hope you helped you. Believe me, there is a young, promising, clever, beautiful and, most importantly, a free man with whom you can create a family and build a harmonious mature relationship. He will love you, and you are him. But admit themselves honestly while you are in a relationship with a married man, you close your own way to your personal female happiness.
And do not forget to download my book "How to love yourself." You can purchase it at this link at the symbolic cost of 149 rubles. In it, I share the most effective techniques that will not only help you raise self-esteem and love yourself, but will make a happy all your life! And naturally, embedding the techniques proposed in this book will help you resolve the situation with a married man in your favor. After all, a woman who loves himself is always in the first place. At myself and, accordingly, at her beloved man.

Dimilage a video course, with the help of which you will leave the role of the victim, learn how to defend yourself, increase self-esteem, will become an independent person and take a firm and correct decision regarding your current relations. Detailed description and method of acquisition.

I am a psychologist, and relationships are one of the key areas of my work. If you need individual help to understand this confusing situation or in itself, you can contact me for psychological advice on Skype YouTube Channel. Let's communicate closer!

Make so that in the world to one happy woman has become more.
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

"Masha, I meet with a married man!" - I shouted into the phone with my girlfriend Irina, financial analyst in a young, but dynamically developing company. And this is not a unique case. Many women believe that it is better an affair with a married man than with a non-native idiot, mummy or Mamienica Son. A qualitative deficit in the ranks of a strong half of humanity pushes half weak to this forced step. Let's try to figure out the pros and cons of meetings with a married man, and we will also try to make a forecast for these relationships.

Types of married men

Surprisingly, there is a huge variety of types of married men. Each of them is not similar to another, but they all have something common - the bounds of marriage. To understand what the relationship with a married man will lead to and what are your prospects, you need to know with whom you are doing at all. And the old good classification will help. So, on whom from the types like your "married"?

"Sufferer"

Look, there is the most unfortunate man on Earth! He is constantly whining and complains of your problems: difficulties at work, improving family life and a grumpy wife. At the same time, when it comes to a cardinal solution of the problem - for example, a change in work or divorce, he immediately "crawls back in the shell": "What are you saying! I can't do it, because I need to put children on my feet. " You naturally act as a quiet harbor - the only place where our "sufferers" can find consolation and peace. Well set up, isn't it?

The most important thing is that he does not want to change at all: in fact, he does not suffer at all, and quite satisfied with his life. His wife and know does not know about his mental flour, and the boss considers a good worker. Life goes on the rolled, he is dressed, wound and fed, his snot wipes a wonderful girl - what else is needed for happiness?

"Pantice"

Roman on the side for him is a relatively safe source of new sexual sensations. And at the same time he is terribly cowardly - hides information about your relationship with all truths and inconsisions. If you call him an uncomfortable moment, the "panty" will throw a phone or say something nehrescent. It may make to go to another city on a date by train - just no one could see you together in one car. In such actions, his whole essence: he is constantly lying and twisted before his wife, without thinking about you or about your feelings. His soulful comfort is above all, and he never divorces with his wife, and not because of deep love or affection, but because of fear of change and loss of stability.

"Fucking"

With ease, there are new connections and forgets old. It is pleasant in communication, open and calm - the relationship with him is also unreasonable, as he himself. Roman with him is full of romance and passion, but the infantologist, because for the "fluttering" an adulter is a source of new and strong sensations. As soon as everything is stirred, it becomes boring, and he is being taken for looking for a new lady of the heart.

This feature, by the way, is peculiar to him in family life: Surely his wife is not the first on account and not even the second. In such a bright type it is very easy to fall in love, but be careful! Relationships with it should be used "strictly for appointment": as a resort novel, for example, but not as a sample of serious hobbies - just so you can get a barrel of pleasure and a drop of tar from them.

"Owner"

For this person, the mistress - as if the second (or third) wife. He is very attentive and caring, but at the same time jealous and demanding. God forbid you do not remove the tube when it calls, or appear in a cafe with a pretty buddy! He will take you all the shoulders, despite the presence of my own wife under the side. Of course, it should be noted that this man will maintain you and protect: replenish the wiring, screw the light bulb and eliminates the breakdown in the pipes. But at the same time, he will not carry out weekends and holidays with you - only to make report for each of your step. Is it really what you need?

"Listener"

Each of us wants to be listened to, and this type takes exactly that. He is constantly silent, almost nothing tells about himself, but he listens to you with pretty interest: how was the day, as things are what you want - it is important for him to know the answers to all these questions. Agree, it bribes! When did anyone in the last time showed us so genuine interest and attention?

But in this scheme there is a weak point: the listener is one of those rare types of married men who are able to go to you finally. And the complete self-discharge will make you uninteresting for him. For the "listener" a mystery is important in a woman, and it is she can bind him to him. Constant inexpensiveness and mystery - these are the qualities that can help "live long and happily" - it became about you.

Such married men can usually be seen in nature. You may find someone who will combine the features of some of some types or to be a representative of the Sixth. In any case, it is worth trying to think your head and soberly assess who is in front of you. And it can happen so that you will stay with a broken heart.

Pros and cons of the novel with a married man

Love is that sphere in which it is impossible to think rationally - unfortunately or fortunately. Each of us heard that a novel with a married man is bad and unpromising, and according to the result, everyone becomes painful and unpleasant. However, when you fall into such a situation, all these thoughts tend to go to the background. Familiarity, naturally, happens gradually - no one pours out on the first date information about the marital status. And at that moment, when you start experiencing a strong sympathy for a man, it turns out that he is married.

You are hoping for yourself that you will all exactly will be different, not like everyone else, because what is happening between you are real feelings, an unbridled passion or sincere affection. And sometimes your head is visited by typical stamps of a lonely woman: good men have already disassembled, so you have to meet with married. Such relations, like all other things in our lives, have their pros and cons.

pros

When the conversation comes on a relationship with a married man, its shortcomings are often remembered, and everything somehow forget about the merits. Naturally, no one would start it all if they were not. The most important plus is love that for many overlaps all the negative, because you are happy, just being in love. What else could there be advantages?

Lack of household problems. You do not need to cook, wash and clean for him, and he does not score nails and does not read the flow of your shell. You do not pass together through fire, water and copper marriage pipes - all the life that is able to reduce all love and romance.
Brightness and joy of all your meetings. Each of your date is a memorable event: every time you try to appear in front of him in a new attractive image, and it is to surprise you with a small gift. Agree, no one is usually trying for legitimate half.
Delicious sex. Relations with a married man have the necessary perchnow - novelty and the prohibition of your meetings who make your intimate life with a diverse and unforgettable. Sex with spouses usually comes, and in your relationship you can embody the most unbridled erotic fantasies.
Only the best! For each other you try to be delightful: the most beautiful, smart, interesting and caring. Since the number of meetings is limited, each of you have enough resources for this (in contrast to relationships with legal spouses). On a date you come with a full parade, trying to impress each other, because in each of you still remains some mystery and highlight.
Health. With a married man, the probability of catching some venereal disease is much lower - they are very carefully followed by this (otherwise the wife will turn the head). In addition, the state of their health is generally better than that of unmarried individuals: they are more likely played by sports, refuse bad habits and adhere to healthy eating.

Minuses

Do not mention them is impossible. After all, precisely because of these features, the novel with a married man is so condemned and criticized by many "dayworthy" women. Of course, you can ignore the whole list, however, with him, at a minimum, it is worth familiar with it to understand what you have to come across.

Expectancy of relationships. This is perhaps the most important minus of the novel with a "maritime". Divorce and wedding with mistress - rather an exception than the rule. This is usually happening in the first year of the relationship, when they still represent a permanent holiday than the boring "lifewood". And in general, now he has a wife and children - why leave to the mistress? To start all this first? Very unlikely.
Loneliness. You are doomed to him from the very beginning of your novel: one in such significant holidays as New Year or Valentine's Day, and on weekends. At first, he may be breaking up for you a couple of times due to love, belaved something wife, but gradually there will be more such bars less and less, and soon they will be reduced to zero.
"Secondaries". Every time your meeting is construed due to unforeseen circumstances, you will hear: "Do not scold, the same family." It doesn't matter how hard you, and how much time and time you spend on your relationship - the wife and children will always come first for him. For them, he works and devotes to them most of the time, and you are only an ally on the intrigue. Eating to you God to offer him to leave the family for you! He either starts to reveal and refer to the mass of obstacles, or immediately say that he will never do it.
Jealousy. Consequence of previous items. It will start to overcome you since you will understand that the wife wakes up every morning with him, and you are not. She gets stability and constant care, and you - watch waiting for a call and lonely evenings. It was his wife who congratulates his husband at work with a man at work, because it is an important part of his life. It is not surprising that soon it will begin to drive you crazy.
The need to hide your relationship. You will never walk around the city center, go to a restaurant or a theater. Maximum, what can I count - this is a date in the cafe on the outskirts and sex at your home or on a rented apartment. In constant voltage, keeps the need to not get to the eyes of anyone from their common acquaintances, and any call from his wife can cause a date for cancellation. It is not surprising if one after the start of these relationships you will begin nervous stuttering and ticks!

How to meet a married man?

Such relationships, as you already understood, differ from the usual. On the one hand, you do not fall asleep with him in the same bed, and, on the other, not you and socks erase. Therefore, the very first advice on the novel with a married man - use it to the full coil! There is nothing cynical in it: each of us is an organism that satisfies their needs at the expense of objects from the environment. Therefore, do not hesitate to have discarded sexual experiments that promote the climb on the peak of pleasure, or his help in the works of workers - all this and much more you can provide your married friend. Of course, in compensation for the lack of future in your relationship. And do not forget about the most pleasant - about good gifts! Any woman will be glad to diamond earrings or expensive hours.

Remember what kind of relationship is needed: In most cases, this is a passion, love and some intrigue. Therefore, be creative in organizing dates and plans. Yes, you can not go with your friend for two weeks to the sea in a full vacation, but a couple of days in Paris is a completely worthy alternative. He will be able to carve them for you in his schedule? Do what I would never have done in ordinary relationships, create and impair - when will such a chance presented?

Try to think as much as possible about his wife, because it is exactly poisoning life with such mistresses as you. For something you loved each other, and no one (well, maybe, besides him) is not to blame. Enjoy life and communication, have fun from the present moment and do not dwell on trouble.

At the same time, you should not dive into the smoothie with your head and dream of what will never be. Yes, there are cases when people really find their love, and a married man leaves the family for the sake of mistress. And it costs soberly, this beautiful story is about you or not. The best way to find out is a frank conversation: if the infinite "not the best moment" starts, then do not wait for miracles. In the case when you want more and are not able to just enjoy relationships with him - go, because the situation will never change in your favor. Do not waste time on it.

Where will all this lead?

Every woman who is going to meet with a married man worries the question where it will lead to everything. Whatever we say, the idea of \u200b\u200bfamily, children and a common focus excites our minds, and the guy with his wife is far from the best option for its incarnation. So what are the prospects for relations with the "maritime"?

By and large, all possible extensions of your novel are reduced to two things: the departure of a married man from a family or your parting with it. Naturally, the basis of any romantic relationship is love. Even if some of the sides are burdened with the bonds of marriage, all this is forgotten when the passion rolls, and it turns off at all. And, of course, each of us wants the relationship to come to its logical conclusion - the wedding and the creation of the family. That's just it becomes problematic in case a man is already married.

The very idea that an adult man will take away somewhere (as if he is unreasonable donkey!) Sometimes it sounds wrong and stupid. In addition, the idea of \u200b\u200bthe karmic justice of the world is not devoid of reflection: any negative will definitely return to its performer. However, if all this does not scare you and you want to lead a married lover from the family, the most important thing is to soberly assess the situation as we wrote above. There are types of men with whom this focus is either not rolled, or will take as much time and forces that it is easier to achieve the attention of Prince William.

Each married man is looking for in his mistress what he lacks in family life: love, care, attention, energy, drive, diversity or comfort. If you want to find the key to the heart of your beloved, it is worth aware of what the need for he satisfies in your relationship - and to do everything to continue. In addition, you should not cut it and scold: you can become the most "quiet harbor" (or "stuffing of passions" - depends on the situation), with which the man will always be fun and interesting. It is useless to give birth to a child or hold the man with ultimatums: it will be incorrectly and yourself will come out - focus on building the right relationship with him and, perhaps, something will work out.

However, the statistics of inexorab: eighty percent of novels with married men ends with nothing. Passion gradually comes off, sex becomes monotonous, and something else in your relationship, which could unite you, no. As a rule, a woman early or late to be annoyed to be a nameless shadow and a sex toy in one bottle, and she makes the decision to leave. How to make it in life?

It is necessary to realize that this man creates just the illusion of the presence in your life. Yes, he can ask for a tick as you are doing, but it is often not interested in the answer. Cranes can also repair a repairman, in a cafe is more fun and more fun with girlfriends, and holidays - to spend on the sea, and not at home alone and waiting for the call. Understand what your needs as if satisfies the lover and find alternative ways to implement them. Well, if we are talking about fear to stay alone, then, perhaps, it is worth thinking about love for yourself and about your self-esteem.

But there is also a third option that many people do not see - long relations. Yes, yes, in very rare cases, this is possible! In this case, both sides are extremely honest and open in front of each other and do not build any unrealistic expectations: a woman is aspiring with their periodic loneliness, and the man tries to pay attention to the maximum when there is such an opportunity. They do not suffer from mutual jealousy, have common interests and love joint leisure. Such relationships may continue for years, but it is rather an exception to the rules.

The most important thing in the novel with a married man is honesty, first of all, before himself. When the primary passion and love goes, try to soberly appreciate your prospects, maybe even go to a psychologist. In the end, if you adjust yourself correctly, then you can get everything that may be possible from these relationships, but only with adequate expectations. Do not be stupid and do not let a man deceive yourself!

Discussion 3.

The relationship of a free woman with a married man in psychology is a rather complicated topic. The Alliance, which includes a married man and a free woman, psychology does not consider as the relationship of two free, self-sufficient people. In such respects, third parties are necessarily invisible: children, relatives, friends. One of the participants in such a union, in this case, the woman plays the role of the second violin. Knowledge and understanding of this is very difficult to take psychologically, especially considering the individual characteristics of the character. About partnerships in which the basis is equality, there can be no speech. A woman always sacrifices himself, his interests, time and personal ambitions.

Psychology of a married man Availability of his relationship with a free woman explains this by the fact that he misunderstands in marriage. It may be sex, tenderness, or just friendly, warm communication, which is no longer obtained with his wife. This is happening in most cases after many years lived together, passions are no longer boiled, life established and the man wants new impressions. He lacks his caress, warm words, the wife stopped admiring them and praise, although she had previously done it regularly.

In modern families, especially those created under the oppression of obligations (for example, the birth of a child), an agreement on the non-interference of the spouses in the personal life of everyone is often concluded. In this case, the spouse's intrigue is not perceived as a betrayal, and the man does not feel the feeling of guilt. With such a person, a woman will be easier to meet.

However, in traditional families, the spouse simply will not give her faithful. And the man for the sake of mistress will not destroy the family and, in front of which certain obligations are. It is worth understanding that such relations are extremely rarely ended with a divorce and a new marriage. For a strong floor, this is just an intriguing, giving outward and emotional shake. In fact, most prefer stability, homemade comfort and warmth.

How does psychology explain the union of a free woman with a married man?

From the side of a woman, the psychology of relations with a married man considers such an alliance from two points of view:

practical Union. A man is considered a woman as a source of money infants and it is quite satisfied with the free relationship, and meetings from the case. He is successful, well-groomed, it is only interested in the sexual side of relations, and he does not ask anything in return. Self-confident women who do not seek to marry, such a state of affairs is usually fully satisfied. In addition, such a union allows you to correct the shaking material state;
romantic Union. This type of relationship is based on delusions. A woman is confident in his exclusivity and sacred believes that the man will soon leave his wife in the near future. I sincerely believes that this man will finally acquire what he lacks in marriage that she will be the best wife and is ready to wait for her beloved to infinity. Usually, women are insecure in this position, which believe that good men are missing at all, and they are ready to be in the background, just to stay with their loved ones.

In any case, a woman understands that she is not the main thing in the life of a man, just in the first case she does not need it.

Psychologists warn that such relationships cannot be strong. A married man can break the relationship at any time without any explanation to return to his wife. After all, in the Union with a free woman, a married man cannot be any obligations in front of her. However, it happens that the man is really unhappy in marriage and the divorce for him is the best way out of the situation. If you take the final solution, it is not in a hurry, it should not be treated in this. Relationship with a married man - for a free girl:

you need to try to get closer with your beloved as close as possible. Men are reluctant to share their secrets with his mistress, but if you make it trust and reveal - success is almost fully guaranteed;
in no case do not put pressure on it. A man is usually looking on the side of the outstand precisely because of the provision of spouse pressure on him. You need to be able to listen to your loved one, to support, become not only a mistress for him. But also a friend;
do not pull the blanket, the final solution to various questions should be left behind it. This will give a feeling of ease in such a union, namely, this is a man and necessary;
do not sober on every corner about the happening of the novel. A man should decide to make a decision to publish a relationship, in this case it is necessary to get out of the shadow and be able to stand up for himself.

Building a meeting with a married man on the advice of a psychologist, an expulsive woman has a good chance to win him from his wife.

Psychology of the correct behavior of a free woman with a married man

Even with small chances to take a man from the family, with the correct behavior of the woman, they increase many times. It should understand that the connection with her is not a desire to change something radically in life, but simply a way to relax, relax and give out emotions. Because the decision of the man should leave his wife to push very carefully, so as not to scare if he suddenly decides that pressure is put on it.

If the man himself did not leave the family, then he does not intend to destroy the marriage. It is necessary to find the strength to break such relationships as they will inevitably go into a dead end.
Often, love is accepted for love. For some time it is better not to see the opportunity to cool a little and understand your feelings.
It is necessary to understand that leading the family beloved from his wife, children suffer. Most of the strong sex representatives are hardly worried, the consciousness of their guilt gives. And the new wife begins to wake up deaf irritation, and even hatred. You need to be ready for such developments.

Looking at the situation in such a way, many find the strength to leave her husband's wife and not destroy their marriage.

If earlier it was considered a shameful vice for a woman - to meet with a "maritime", now it is somewhat depressing widespread. The psychology of relations with a married man is no longer amazing for anyone. Although it would seem naturally that it is incorrect and bad. What to do and what to do in a situation where, how in the song "I love married"?

Psychology - aspect "Why"

So why are women then draw on, it would seem that forbidden? They are not blind, not stupid and often quite aware of what they do. As well as consequences. But still, as in the ohwow with your head, we are thrown into dangerous dubious relationships.

You can start with the fact that, of course, how many people are so many different opinions. Each woman had its own reason to start such relationships and each of them answered the question - is it worth it? - differently. And, nevertheless, there are a specific series of reasons:

All finished. A married man, as a rule, has already consisted of a person. As in the family, so in society and career.

Freedom. He does not need to wait home in the evening, cook him food, wash clothes or somehow counted about his actions. All this is already doing another woman. The mistress has much more free time that she can spend on himself.

Celebration atmosphere. If the wife sees a person in all his remarkable and not very glory, then the woman on the side is familiar with positive qualities.

Money. Comments Here will be superfluous.

Unwillingness to marry. Sometimes such a situation happens when love I want, but married - quite the opposite. Then the item on freedom and casual relationship is poured into this. A married man will not demand any particular obligations from his mistress.

Low self-esteem. Thoughts about the fact that good men around catastrophically, and the fear of loneliness sometimes pushed women and not at that. Therefore, they are satisfied with those "what is."

Hope. Love evil ... Or, in the proverb: on unbearable and cancer - fish. Especially if this "cancer" then also promises to throw a family for her, beloved and unique. And the woman believes these words. And this faith in their exclusivity, that it is all her, it will not all be like everyone else, forces to remain in such a relationship. But life is not a film with a lyrical end or a love book. In reality, such promises often remain empty promises.

Relationship with a married man

What if a woman still decided to start a relationship with a "maritime"? At this expense, the tips of the psychologist are built on the main principle: you need to be a realistic. That is, ready for the fact that such love can take and cut into abrupt at any time. And certainly about such relationships do not suit the girlfriend.

The main plus and at the same time minus - no one is obliged to each other. It is easy to sleep with a married person who you love, but to start with him to meet and, especially since to keep yourself and build some plans, a woman will not be easy. In no case cannot be advertised to meetings, otherwise it will immediately undermine the trust. It is not worth putting on a man with his connection either - he perfectly understands that he has no obligations before you. He already has a family with his wife and children. If he needs a relationship on the side, he can always find himself another, less demanding, passion. Therefore, if the goal is to conquer the heart of this man, you will have to work hard, dimly and carefully, in love with him and everything that will be associated with it.

But still far from the fact that a man will throw a family for his mistress. The fact is that a man cannot just take and go there where he will be better. Most likely the marriage if it is caming, it is not because of the beloved ladies on the side, but because of the big disclaimer in your own family. Only if the legitimate relationships did not show themselves from a good side or burned out, being a mistake - then the man divorced and go to the flamely waiting for his mistress. Otherwise, no forces of the Great Love will make him leave his native nest called "Family".

Exit from the cell

Sooner or later, the awareness comes that the man is still not going to leave a house with children and a married woman, and you no longer want to put up with this. How to finish such relationships?

The council of psychologists is pretty simple: you need to morally prepare yourself before breaking the connection with married. Write on paper all its shortcomings and look more often on this sheet. Think about the question, and if it is necessary at all? Most likely, the mistress of a married man has no prospects for his own family well-being. And sooner or later, each woman will want to have their children and a normal family. Then karma will definitely not face this woman ...

How to stop relationships?

Secret meetings and constant secrecy can also adversely affect the overall background of life. Especially with a man who under his second chosen. It is necessary to resolutely declare this intention to his married partner, calmly and rationally convey to him his point of view. These relations have no future that you want. We will have to come to terms with parting and be sure to ask never to disturb anymore. It is difficult, but otherwise the blurred comma will appear instead of the point in the relationship. Especially if a man tries to dissuade his mistress from such a "hasty decision." It may be a farewell gift in the form of the last date or something else in a similar spirit. But in fact, it is only a trick in order not to end the relationship.