Is it worth calling the first guy. Women's initiative

March 5, 2018

When we fall in love, we grow wings carrying with a mad speed towards new feelings and emotions. Without thinking about anything, forgetting the rules of decency and expecting an immediate response, we sometimes destroy the rapid relationship.

Modern women became so active that their behavior is suppressed or scared the cavaliers. Not having to get to know closer, ladies, without waiting for the call of the lover, begin to rub the phone. Is it good or not? In this article we will try to figure out from the point of view of the psychology of relations, whether to call the man first.

Is it possible to call a man first?

This question is rather difficult, because there is no single opinion. Supporters of feminism are convinced that women have the same rights as men. Others recognize only a traditional approach, giving the championship with a strong half. To understand whether it is possible to call the first one, it is necessary to consider the problem on both sides.

The first group is those who do not consider such a behavior appropriate - it argues its position by sharing the successful personal experience that "if I hadn't decided to call, we would now be not together," he thought that I did not like, and If I did not score his number, we would not have been married and happy. "

Their opponents are convinced that men from nature are gambling hunters who must themselves to achieve everything, including the elects, and otherwise they quickly disappear interest. If we consider both positions in general, then both are right. It all depends:

  • from the nature of the man you're going to call (how it will react to such an initiative);
  • concrete situation;
  • from how comfortable you can do it.

Active women had a life in which everything happens in their will, since their chosen was initially indecisive and passive. And those who did not call, the man turned out to be leading in a relationship. So regret, at the beginning of the acquaintance it is difficult to understand what type of your beloved is. Here it is necessary to rely on the previous experience.

Perhaps strong women at the subconscious level choose the slave guys or are so confident in their own forces, which are used to engage in all of the main position. Well, if you are not, then do not cross yourself, and calmly wait for the call of the one who is not sensible to you.

Each case is unique. Cavalers that call first, do not always become worthy candidates for husbands, and ravine-initiative - often disadvantaged.

There are a number of reasons why you can not call a man first. If they ignore them, it will not play in your favor. You may need an unflattering impression about you, as a frivolous and annoying woman. But this will not lead anything good.

If you want normal relations, you need to follow the following rules:

  1. Do not show perseverance and excessive obsession. Do not dial the room infinitely and interested in his affairs. Show patience, wait for a response step.
  2. If for some reason you refused, do not humiliate, persuading a man about a meeting. Such behavior will not achieve anything, but you can exacerbate the position easily.
  3. Still decided to call the first? Try to arrange the object of your reeble to relaxed communication. Never take the handset when you have a bad mood. A man is hardly done to taste.
  4. You should not call the first if your friend did not give you your phone number. Not everyone likes such a lady initiative. He can simply decide that you are pursuing it.
  5. After a joint speech, the first call must be from the boyfriend. Expressing impatience, you risk losing his respect.
  6. During the courtship period, it is also not desirable to exercise the initiative, especially if you often see, but have not yet been held as a full-fledged pair.
  7. If you have quarreled and the culprit of this trouble is a man - stay standing, let him take the first step.

In what cases can still call a man

There is nothing bad when the girl calls the guy first at his request. For example, when it is free, or for some reason it does not have your cherished numbers, and he gave you your phone number.

Is it worth the woman first to call a man in other cases? Nobody can prohibit the ladies, but before you think about your speech and adhere to some recommendations using innocent female tricks, so as not to become a victim of a ridiculous situation:

  • Come up with a convincing pretext containing some intrigue, informing the place and time. It may be an invitation to a football match. Speak confidently and decisively, not a mumbel in the phone. As a rule, the proposal to spend together time is perceived by men positively. Of course, the probability of refusal is present. If this happens, demonstrate your indifference, hinting, that you have such guys as you can.
  • Invest yourself any problem that cannot be solved without his help. A man will be pleased to assume that they need it. You can simply consult on the issue of the computer or other technique. If the response is not received, feel free to throw the tube - it is definitely not suitable for the role of a satellite of life.

Your friend has long tried to care for a long time, but never waited for reciprocity? Decided to give a guy a second chance? In this situation, there is nothing reprehensible in that you call him.

What if a man did not answer the call?

Your first meeting has passed with a bang and has given hope for the further development of events, but the cavalier is not declared and does not take the phone. What does it mean? There are a number of reasons for which you liked the guy does not call you back.

We will analyze the most common of them:

  1. Collecting trophies. Some men are similarly trying to swee their ego or self-harden in the eyes of the same doubtful friends. They get acquainted with girls, get her number, like a trophy, and disappear. These guys are usually stored in the phone a huge list of such contacts, as a kind of collection or so, just in case, suddenly come in handy.
  2. Bright impressions. A man is not going to tie a serious relationship at the moment, but meets women for entertainment. He takes the phone while in the romantic arrangement of the Spirit, thinking for a moment that he needs a good woman, but soon understands that he is not ready to give his heart to the same one.
  3. Politeness. An intelligent person, by virtue of upbringing, can not offend you, immediately refusing in a further meeting. He thinks that taking a phone from a woman, make a noble act, thereby making the girl nice.
  4. A loss. There is a more banal explanation of the boyfriend's silence - the loss of the room or the mobile breakdown. Maybe he is not against continuing to meet.
  5. He has another. If a new acquaintance has a girlfriend or a wife, then you can hardly call you back. Your meeting for him was only a small flirting, no more.

What to do if the man himself has not been calling for a long time?

What to do if the guy liked disappeared from sight, but patiently sit at the phone there are no more strength? The reasons may be abound. To find out whether to build plans for the future, find a suitable pretext and call themselves. This will allow for its intonation and the content of the conversation to determine the further development of relations.

If the conversation took place in a positive way, and the man again does not call for a long period, then perhaps he does not dare to offend direct refusal. No need to draw in your imagination tragedy or find out the flaws. We sincerely believe that they meet the love of all life and it will necessarily come to you.

Is it worth calling a man after a quarrel if he himself does not ring?

Cavalier undeservedly offended you and not hurry to correct the situation. Is it necessary to call a man after a quarrel? Definitely - no. You will make such a one and it will understand that you can be twisted as you like.

If a man really experiences feelings, despite the quick temper, it will be pregnant and will definitely appear. And at the same time I will understand that such a number will not pass.

If not, then your friend does not appreciate the relationship, and found a pretext to break them. And maybe this manipulator is trying to subordinate you. If the quarrel is in your fault, then analyze how serious it is to stop communicating.

Is it worth calling a guy? This question is falling into three:

Let's go in order.

Is it worth calling a guy if you met on the Internet, and have never met any times?

You could well get acquainted with the correspondence, or on a dating site. A little talked, agreed to meet. And now he does not ring.

If there were no meetings, and the guy is not ringing, it is permissible to call yourself.
There is a high chance that he is just shy to call, you will not like it. Your call will solve the problem, there will be a chance to meet. So if you really want, call the first.

But be prepared for the fact that he is not very common to communicate. Clean the network. This is often found.

Is it worth calling a guy who you just met, and have already met 1 - 2 times?

If you have already met for example, one two times, then the guy makes a conclusion whether he needs a relationship with you.

At this stage, he does not take care of what kind of relationships it will be. One-time meetings or a long family life - it will depend only on you. How to put yourself, and how the guy is interested. Without the difference, what he thinks about this.

It is not worth calling here. And not even because you need to fill yourself. Everything is just a guy or can not call, or does not want. And the second is occurring much more often. And in both cases, your calls will only worsen the situation.

If you do not call myself, then there are few chances of improving the situation. But at least you will not feel glamorous.

Summary here is simple:
If I could not call, it will call immediately as it can. If I did not want to call, then why do you need an unprotected relationship? That's right, absolutely not needed.

Is it worth calling a guy with whom you have been communicating for a long time?

You have long come with a guy, and he stopped calling. What to do, and is it worth calling yourself?

In constant relationship, call is permissible, and even useful. But you need to be ready to know that you are simply tired of your boyfriend. And he decided to part. In this case, you may have to call for a long time until he is gaining courage to voice his decision. And only in rare cases it turns out that he really could not call or come.

As you can see, if you can call a guy and how many times you can only decide.

And finally, the most important question.

How to cope with yourself not to call a guy?

How to gain willpower, and do not call? That's where the dog is buried!

When you have love, it is very difficult to cope with you. I want to see a person, to meet, hear his voice. Call it is impossible. And really want.

In this case there are 2 strong recipes.

1. Take yourself a studies or work.

For example, you can start repairs in the apartment. For a month, learn a foreign language from scratch and to the level of passing language exams for working in a foreign company.

The main thing in this recipe so that the goal was truly grand. Simple general cleaning in the house will not work, because it takes little time and strength. You need to post no longer.

2. Find several other cavaliers.

In this case, one other will not work. To replace 1 super guy, at least he seems to you now, it will take at least three mediocre candidates. Well, you think about them now.

The advantages of this solution are that you will distract, and there is always a chance that someone will like you more.

The problem is familiar with every woman since the school. After all, Evgeny Onegin Tatyana Larina recognized in love, he received, as they would say, "Otloupe." Because it is not customary to the girl first call or write a man. Now the times have changed. Or not? Topicstarter was all walked, trying to understand whether to call the man he herself after the first date.

"I went to the first date, a man from a dating site, I liked, I like him too. But no longer calls and does not write, although seven days have passed. Is it possible to write the first to first or call? "

According to part of the Evarshnitz, it is not necessary to write the first in any way. If the author liked the author, then the man would cut the phone. Himself.

"What don't you respect yourself? Do not first call or write. If you like him, I would have already shown a hundred times. "

Prudent interlocuts clarified that the rule of the first call or SMS operates at the beginning of the relationship. When meetings are becoming regular, a woman can already afford to dial the phone number first.

"On the way home, Casual mentioned that it would be nice to meet, I agreed. When parting kissed the cheek, it seemed that quite sincerely. In the evening sent SMS to him, thanked for a wonderful evening. He replied that I hoped that we would meet. And disappeared. "

For an adventure, everything is clear. The author has already shown the open text initiative when SMS wrote. The man did not answer this step. So she did not like her. And they could not scare out appearance, but behavior. The behavior of the frozen woman, ready for all for the sake of the device of personal life.

"No wonder there is an unwritten rule that the man calls the first. Times have changed, but not male psychology. You can write first, but it is necessary for you? Male Nature Hunter. Or you did not like it, therefore does not write. "

Interestingly, a man involved in the discussion supports women retrograders that believe that one should not call the first.
"If a young man on the first date did not discuss the options for the following meetings, it is better not to count on the fact that he was ashamed and not to shout in every way:" I'm here, call and I will come. "

Emancipated ladies considered that the rules in personal relationship are not needed. A man may not call, thinking that he did not like the potential beloved.

"And I think that sometimes you can call the first. I met at the institute with a future husband at a common holiday. We went to walk, did not agree on the next meeting. There was no cell phone then, but I could find me. But did not seek. And I liked the future husband. Then I accidentally went to a friend, I handed it hello. He immediately called me to walk. Just the guy was shy to take the first step, I was afraid, apparently he did not like. And such a lot. "

"And what to write this first? Do not affect, and offer something interesting or ask how are you. "

"Insureness in relationships cultivate, do not even be surprised when and with you on the principle are going."

However, following the advice of active women, it is worth remembering that in this case you take a male role in a pair. But there are such unions. And quite successful. In them, the woman makes decisions, and the man performs them. If you are ready to build such relationships - dare. If your case is classic - give a man to make decisions.

Practical advice from Evarshnitz:

"Think over the questionnaire. There are good men, but your "face" does not attract them on the site. I changed the questionnaire by different parameters and found the one that works. No need "sparkling" wit. Do not have a non-standard description. It looks sorry. A message from a man should contain information about his kind of activity, its place of residence. He must explain in the letter than you liked. It's minimum. But he is not all under power. I walked to such a date, even if I didn't like the photos. "

Familiar situation: an ideal date, one hundred percent coincidence of interests, kisses under the moon. And now, the whole next day you are impatiently waiting for his call, as according to the rules of etiquette, the lady does not apply to do it first, and the phone is silent. Such a situation may be not only at the very beginning of relationships, but then, when a woman, without waiting for a call, picks up his number.

Or another common situation: a man is just rewriting with you when you want to receive calls from it. How to enroll in such a situation?

Here are 6 tricks that make a man to call you:

1. Prose something intriguing

In other words, touch the man with something interesting, unexpected and preheating desire. Complete this as if casually during a date, and be sure that he will definitely call himself. After all, men like children: show them a candy in a bright wrapper, and they will immediately run to you.

2. Stop the meeting in the most interesting place.

For example, at that moment, when your kisses and hugs become particularly hot and gaining increasing degrees. He is all such a trunk, and here you, since, and sharply declare that you have to go home. After such an exciting "broom", a man will definitely not write, namely call you to suggest to meet again.

3. Leave yourself an indelible impression

For example, capture it with its wit, a sense of humor, ease, tender or beauty. Options - weight. After a meeting with such a wonderful woman, a man will definitely not be able to forget you and will surely call the first to appoint another date.

4. Sincerely praise, if he manifests the first initiative

And it does not matter what exactly - in the next meeting, a tender kiss, joint plans for the weekend or simply takes you by the hand. Men are very pant on flattery and praise, it acts on them as a psychological anchor, which will later remind that this act must be repeated and again. And it is possible that the phone call will also be included in this list.

5. Do not be annoying

The paradox of relationships with a man is that only a woman is removed, to show coldness and stop expressing his love, as a man is immediately activated and begins to pay attention to himself. The same with the phone calls: Try sharply the abyss, do not respond at all to its messages in social networks and SMS. Let's give my head, soon he "draws" and call himself.

6. Ask him about the call

The easiest way is to just tell me a man that you would like him to call you, but not wrote to you. As you know, representatives of the strong sex absolutely do not understand hints and workarounds, so be boldly voicate what you want, and then the likelihood of your desire will increase almost to one hundred percent.

You can distribute the feminist moods in society as you like, that the men finally "got out" - the first call, a date for a date, still come and the flowers give. Agree or not with these statements - each decides itself. But I want to note that everything is born in our head. And if you want to confirm the theory of "militant women", then follow the settings described. If not - then let's call it on the feats. Believe me when they want, they can.

Do I need to call a man first: voluntary captivity

To understand, you need to first pick up the cherished number or not, let's consider the situation from different sides.

The first side. You are an independent woman who knows what he wants. You have so many hobbies and cases that the TV in the evening is missing a TV to watch. " But, by a minute, you are not a drunk horse. You are enthusiastic, confident, knowing the price. And if the cavalier met on your way, communication with him gives pleasure. But you are an adult person who is harmonious in terms of hobbies, work and personal life. Therefore, you have no time to sit for a day long from the handset. And now the most interesting thing - he fights for your attention. Therefore, begins to call you first.


The conclusion is: no need to make a man's meaning of his life. Believe me, they do not appreciate the fiance hunters, who are written on the forehead: "I want to marry." Be yourself, and everything will work out.(Read also).

Side second. You met, went on a date and even spent the night together. And then the stupor starts in your life. I don't want to do anything, but the thoughts are all about that, if only there would be close together with the chosen one. You spend, watch, and then days at the handset, but it does not ring. As a result, you decide to dial the number, in response, hear the wakeful voice of the chief. And he does not bored! It knocks you out of the rut even more.


The conclusion here is the same as he was voiced above. Do not run after it, if a man wants something really, he will turn the mountains and the river overwhelm.

If he called you, and you waited for this event before dive, take advantage of the prompts that will make the flame of love even stronger. (Read also).

  • Any vote. Even if all the days have been proper than the call. Let him know that your attention is expensive.
  • If he invites for a date, do not "disappear" unconditionally "yes." Wragge in the process of conversation on the topic "Will I be able today?", And in the end, agree.
  • Do not ask stupid questions, like "why didn't you call so long?" Agree, you are not a wife yet, because control is not in your powers. Let me notice, such a phrase begged the bridegroom - they do not like when they encroach on their freedom.
And chief advice: Stick in relations the rules "2 to 1". What does this mean? In other words, the essence of the process is such that in response to two actions of a man you commit one. I will explain on the example: he called, then called for a date and only after that can send SMS "How are you?". Answer, well, wait for another step on his side. But if it does not react, then you hide. After all, they do not speak, but the initiative is the prerogative of men.

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